We're Programmed Wrong

When someone's being selfishly demanding, our instinctive reaction is to try to deny them what they want, when actually that selfish behavior indicates that they need our generosity. Our usual reaction to someone being angry is to run away or to return anger, "fighting fire with fire". Instead, we should help them try to figure out what to do about the situation that's making them angry, even if they're being angry at us. If they're so angry that they can't start to deal with the situation, we should just patiently let them be angry.