Not Cynical, Exactly

In the personals ad that L answered, I asked something about how my meditation practice might inform an understanding of international relations. Could an understanding of human nature gleaned from meditation be applied to an area in which nations generally behave in rather naked self-interest? I was, at the time, slightly hopeful that I might gain some insight which could be applied for the betterment of the world. However, instead of my being able to use my meditation practice, my practice has "converted" me.

First, having looked more at the grasping nature of the "small self" with which we do most everything, I no longer think there's such a large dichotomy between interpersonal relationships and international ones. Pretty much, we do what we like and avoid what we don't like, and we get as much of what we like as we can without provoking negative consequences we don't like. (BTW, I thought the movie Kids made this kind of statement very well.) A lot of those negative consequences are those put in place by our society, enforced by general agreement and, at last resort, by violence. Nations, although more complex, don't seem to be fundamentally different. They're all angling for what gets them advantage relative to other nations and will do anything possible as long as the negative consequences aren't too bad. The "societal punishments" around for nations aren't as effective as those around for you and me, and thus nations often behave much worse than you or I do.

Second and related, I used to think of those with power as corrupted by that power, and that these people should by fought by those not in power. Now, however, I'm less sure that the powerless are so virtuous. For example, President Carter's calls for energy efficiency didn't make him very popular. If there were an informed, popular vote about, say, increasing vehicle fuel efficiency standards, would Americans really vote to give up their SUV's? Even with the effects of global warming becoming more clear, would they have done so without the high gas prices of late? I'm a little doubtful. It's not that I no longer think that those in power need to be challenged, but I'm more of the opinion that humans in general have a hard time doing what they (might) know they should. I'm still hopeful, though, that decisions can be optimized under these limitations through good information and inclusive discussions, if those can be brought about. (I'm still supporting Clean Money.)

I write this all with an additional sense of frustration because I'm a bit stuck in my meditation practice. I don't really understand what's going on, but what it appears to be is this. I could continue to expand my awareness beyond my "small self", but this larger awareness appears very threatening. It feels like I'd have to give up all the things I dearly love, such as wine. (I think this is where the motif of wrathful gods originates.) This fear has interrupted my practices a few times now, no matter from how many angles I rationally argue to myself what I need to do.

Black Trumpets!

Yesterday L and I went mushroom hunting in the woods which were so plentiful last December. In contrast to that visit, there were hardly any mushrooms at all, even after all the rain last week. Although L found some chanterelles, the main excitement for me was that I finally found Black Trumpets! They were in very pretty (looked more like this), in pristine condition, and smelled earthy and pungent. These are supposedly hard to find because they blend in so well with their surroundings. Indeed, although these were pretty prominently visible, growing out of the edge of the path, they blended in perfectly with the damp madrone leaves scattered around them. I looked around in the surrounding woods, but was unable to find more. Were they there, and I just couldn't see them?

We at them in scrambled eggs this morning for breakfast, in which they were very tasty.